After more than a year

The last blog that I posted in this Blog was on February of 2009.

It’s been more than a year since I wrote something of substance to this blog of mine.

I neglected my duties for myself when I became the Editor-in-Chief of our school publication during the summer of ’09. Ever since then, my  thoughts were put into paper and was published.

I guess it’s time to start sharpening my pencils again.

Things that Bam Learned

Bam talks about sinking boats, the game, doors and egos, on being horny, on being a goat, on who’s the best kisser, on being deadly honest, on absolute love, and stealing brownies.

An interview:

I realized that I loved her when I felt the pangs of pain when she didn’t include me in her list of persons she’ll save from a sinking boat. It was like, “God damn this woman, here I go saving her from a sinking boat and she doesn’t include me in her list?!” I was 16 . I never stopped loving her since then – I’m already 22.

Every man has his needs. But each man’s needs is different. Some men go after women just for sex. I went after women for the game, for the chase, and for the thrill. I needed to get my mind off things and the pain. I was looking for an emotional anchor.

Man, there are no comparisons. Period.

She’s a Virgo. I’m a Capricorn. Those two click. I believed that. For quite sometime we did click. If two people click, sweet things happen. And that’s the story of that. She wasn’t special, nor was she that different, it just so happened that she’s  a Virgo and I’m  a Capricorn.

Some of them are my friends. But most of the time, I’m a big asshole to those who treat me like shit.

Get your catch

Indolence is laziness. The latter just seems classy.

It is interesting to note how words, and language could be interpreted differently by another society. How these words are understood depends  on the lifestyle and culture the society practices. At times, simple phrases – which may mean nothing to the speaker – could be interpreted as something profane and vulgar to the listener. This simple misunderstanding of a catch phrase makes the speaker uncomfortable, and unseemingly red. Fear eats the culprit which makes him drink more than what his body allows him to. His body retaliates the morning after by providing him with a breakfast coupled with a hangover and jitters.

All these because a word and phrase is often misunderstood by the listener, and misused by the speaker.

The Refusal

The only consolation

to this game is

the aftermath and

 – burns of all the

friction, and dueling.

 

The only consolation

to the unanswered

is the mind’s portrait

of what hurts: at times

gray, at times, colorful.

But either way, it

numbs and makes

the prize weaker.

 

The only consolation

to this frustration are

the swims and dives

which makes the

mind weak, and the

strings longer.

 

The only consolation

To the deception

Is the simple

Declination to say

The simple things

Which makes the

Situation rational.

 

Sorry Mister Shakur

Tupac said, “We ain’t ready / to see a black president.”

He wrote and said those lines in his song “Changes” more than ten years ago. Now that President Obama is seated, Tupac’s song now only resonates of the apartheid and discrimination that Americans felt a decade  and some odd years ago.

A decade and some odd years ago is not that long. It’s not too far away from the realms of memory, and it’s not in the category of, what to our generation is, the 60’s or 70’s – where events seem like myths and memorabilia considered relics.

A decade and some odd years ago is not that old.

It feels surreal that my eyes are witnessing the change most people past our generation longed for. It feels odd that the songs I listened to when I was growing up is now – to be correct – a page in history.

Tupac, it’s sad that you didn’t get to see your songs proven wrong.

I am

I was a lonely man

with nothing to do

but dream –

dream of happyness

and smiles.

I used to close

my eyes and fly

off to the ocean

where I would sit with

everyone I know on

top of purple and green

corrals.

 

Such joy whenever

we sit down.

 

I still fly off whenever

I can, but I don’t close nor

dream anymore.

Even if I was the enemy

Her love story was beautiful, and I was a part of it, Even if I was the enemy.

 

I never told this to anyone, not even to my closest friends or family, but yeah, I am hurt, and it sucks.

The worst part of it all is… I am hurt. Hurt because of the circumstances involved to what happened to me. In one of my desperate attempts to be close to her, I told her that it’s alright for us to be friends again – it has been in my philosophy that I would never let anyone be my friend if they screw me over. Being “friends” meant going out and talking, and here comes silly me trying to prove to her that I was alright and that I didn’t hurt by asking her questions about her current man.

Sometimes, I think I need a Hug

I didn’t believe him when he said, “When you join us, you’ll have enemies – plenty of enemies.” All I thought was: yeah, yeah, I’m doing it so I could continue doing what I love.

It is lonely on the way there.

Another One

If I took multi-vitamins daily, this entry would be longer. If I my brain wasn’t that swamped with responsibilities and want-of-sleep, my justifications and arguements would be more polished and sound. But the thing is, I am sleep and energy deprived – so this would do.

It’s funny how people seem so worked up when they talk about their opinions. It seems like every word and thought they blurt out is the truth. It’s funny because they believe that what they’re saying is absolutely and factually correct. No one asked for your opinion. I didn’t askanyone’s. It’s a fucking waste of time telling me what I should’ve done. What the fuck can I do about the things that already happened? 

Some people just don’t know when to zip their mouths. It’s annoying when people come to the conclusion that they know everything – it seems like they have a solution to everything (except world peace and hunger).

If you want to be seen, stand up. If you want to be heard, speak up. If you want to be appreciated, SHUT UP.

The Journey….

is just starting. The first steps are already taken. All I have to do is keep on moving forward.

 

I’ll be off for a few weeks.